Happy Valentine's Day

Excerpted From The Onion:
"Latest Bin Laden Videotape Wishes America a 'Crappy Valentine's Day'"

...Bin Laden did not overlook the innocuous custom of giving stuffed animals as gifts.

"The teddy bear that holds the 'I love you' heart does not love you at all," Bin Laden said. "It is an unliving, unholy thing filled only with stuffing. Just as the Western infidel is not bestowed with the blessings of Allah, so shall he go unloved by the false bear."