Cold Turkey
I am trying to kick the following:
Carbonated Water (mostly benign, possibly explains "refreshingness")
Caramel Color (for that alluring, mystery brownness)
Aspartame (Much like Reese Witherspoon: sweet, artificial, causes cancer in rats)
Phosphoric Acid (for the chemical burn)
Potassium Benzoate (to keep us docile during the Rapture)
Natural Flavors (?)
Citric Acid (Vitamin C, for health!)
Caffeine (my true master, dastardly by-product of the kola nut)
posted by EB at 4:41 PM
6 Comments:
Dude, tell me about it. I've already been through my second 20 oz. bottle of DC today. Let's start a support group. "D.C.ers against D.C." "D.C. Anonymous - D.C. Chapter." "Goin' anti-D.C. in D.C." Catch my drift?
5:41 PM
OK - one more and I'm done. "DC United...against DC" - see, cause of the whole soccer thing, it would be cute...
10:22 AM
Dude, just be thankful it's caffeine and not, say, heroine. Although, if it were heroine, you'd have a slim new physique. That's my prediction for next year: Atkins diet out. Heroine diet in, in, IN!
Also, whether Reese Witherspoon causes cancer in lab rats is up for debate. The good people a Coca-Cola have studies that say otherwise. But I will admit that she does make me with I had a syringe of insolin (you know, to stab someone with).
7:49 PM
That's supposed to say "wish I a had" not "with I had". Appearantly I've begun typing with a lithp.
7:51 PM
That's supposed to say "wish I had" not "wish I a had." Read your shit before you publish it, dumbass.
7:53 PM
Sorry about those swear words. I didn't realize that I was thinking out loud.
7:54 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home