How to Spend $114,000,000 in Two Days

This is all tenative, you realize, but various sources are reporting that Adrian Beltre has signed with ... your Seattle Mariners. For $64 million. (That's $3.2 mil for superagent Scott Boras. Of course, he pays 15% of his commission to the Devil, so some comes off the top) This follows reports from yesterday that Richie Sexson has inked a $50 million contract and will be bringing his doofy smile to the Jet City next season.

Is Sexson's labrum tear totally healed? Will Beltre's numbers drop off now that taking steroids is considered a bad thing by baseball? All questions aside though, this drops the average age of a Seattle infielder to 27. So, let me get this straight: the Mariners are getting younger AND signing big name free agents? Is this April 1st? I can tell you one thing: 76 days until pitchers and catchers report. How you like the AL West now?