Some Kind of Monster

Fox Sports has done the admirable service of setting up a photo gallery of Barry Bonds "through the ages." It ends up being a bit of a freak show. You can almost hear the carnival barkers: "Come one, come all. See the 180 lb. two spot hitter morph before your very eyes into the incredible 'Forehead Man.' Marvel as he hits a ball 600 feet, yet cannot touch his arms to his own sides! A fanstastic feat of conditioning, you say? Quoth the man himself, 'Dude, whatever.'"

Maybe it's passe to make fun of Barry (there's also a Giambi gallery to further martyr that sorry son-of-a-bitch). I did learn that Bonds was wearing that cop-out elbow armor way back in the 90s. But if you asked me who really holds the home run record, that guy's name is Roger Maris.