The People's Glorious Film Reviews

Be Cool
by Borko Naberezhnyi

Many year ago, there was movie Get Shorty. It was funny. I laugh. "Ha ha". Now is new movie ten year later. It called Be Cool. Movie start with problem like from American teenager show--oh no, we have no money to produce record album! We have to be selling our recording equipment! Black people and Russians do not like us! If only we could meet Steven Tyler from crappy band Aerosmith to make us famous!

Movie start very slow! People make joke from Get Shorty. Then make joke again. Then someone else make joke again. Aiiii! Uma Thurman do not seem to like John Travolta. She like him lots in Pulp Fiction, but that is 11 year ago and maybe she turn into lesbian. Maybe she need to meet Borko and not be lesbian any more.

Big question for Borko is why make movie? Is for Travolta-guy to have more monies for to give to Scientology? No, is movie that exist for to sell American products that nobody need, product like Diet Pepsi, T-Mobile Sidekick and Seth Green.

Is not bad movie for parts that have Andre 3000 and Vince Vaughn. Is nice. Andre is real actor guy who wear funny clothes and be very funny. Vince Vaughn say many jive things and he dance very nice. But when they not there, is not so nice. F. Gary Gray, why do you make movie that is sucking? Big thing wrong with movie that say success is to be winning MTV music video award.

The Verdict: Borko come for the Vince Vaughn, stay for the Andre 3000. Other parts make him ill, like Belarussian prostitute!


[Editors Note: In a patently ridiculous yet pivotal scene, Chili Palmer convinces Steven Tyler to take Chili's singing protege on-stage during an Aerosmith concert. He does this by telling Tyler that the song "Sweet Emotion" was truly written not about one of the many sex kittens Tyler was banging in the 70's but about his daughters. Tyler realizes that Chili is right and agrees to the publicity stunt. However, all the drugs Steven has taken must have ravaged his brain as severely as they did his body; "Sweet Emotion" appears on 1975's Toys in the Attic and his eldest daughter Liv wasn't born until 1977.]