Solidarity, Brother!

Deer, meet headlights

If there was an international brotherhood of interns, a sort of coffee-fetching Teamsters union, then our leader would be Mike Brown. Brown, as you may know, is the stunningly incompetent, alarmingly unqualified head of FEMA. Last week he was just another Bush administration hack who owed his job to cronyism, but now he's been promoted to full-time press punching bag and administration scapegoat. Just today he was removed from Katrina relief operations and may soon be out of work, hence why I'm offering him the position of Jimmy Hoffa of the Interns. The pay sucks, but I'm sure there are some office supplies that won't be missed.

The reason for Brown's god-like status among interns is that he embellished his resume to make a long-ago internship into qualification for heading a major federal agency. Aside from claiming to have been a professor of political science, though not even having a degree from an accredited law school, "Brownie" made other fibs on his resume. The most egregious was his claim that he was...well, I'll just reprint the paragraph from Time:

" The White House press release from 2001 stated that Brown worked for the city of Edmond, Okla., from 1975 to 1978 "overseeing the emergency services division." In fact, according to Claudia Deakins, head of public relations for the city of Edmond, Brown was an "assistant to the city manager" from 1977 to 1980, not a manager himself, and had no authority over other employees. "The assistant is more like an intern," she told TIME.

The very tender distinction between "assistant city manager" and "assistant to the city manager" is one sure to make any fan of "The Office" smile.

Well, that's enough about our fabulous future leader, "Brownie." He's just a "time off to spend time with family" and a presidential freedom medal away from his glorious new post with the interns union. As for me, I'm off to "update" my resume.