Happy Trails...

...to Attorney General John Ashcroft, who jumped from the ship of state today, along with Commerce Secretary Don "Big Pun" Evans. Will the resignation lift the stench of failure and abuse-of-power that has hovered, Pig Pen-like, over his tenure? Allow me to quote Paul Krugman: "John Ashcroft is the worst attorney general in history.

But hey, we'll miss you, big guy. You were able to intimidate a lot of young, brown men with the Justice Department's merciless rounds of interrogations and deportations. Too bad every press conference prediction you made of an impending terrorist attack turned out to be untrue, but at least you frightened a lot of white people in the Midwest.

It may be a little premature to begin discussion of who will succeed Ashcroft at Justice, but I would like to cast an early vote for Augustus Garland. He has plenty of experience, serving as Attorney General during the Grover A. Cleveland administration. Sure he's been dead since 1899, but as was shown by the victory of Mel Carnahan over Ashcroft in the Missouri senatorial race, Ashcroft can be ably replaced by a dead man with few negative effects. Do I hear a second for the bewhiskered gentleman from Arkansas?