An Open Letter to Shawn Green

Perish the Jew in Dodger blue?

Dear Shawn,

I know you have a big decision to make in the next couple days, regarding the 10-player monstrosity that would send Randy Johnson to Yankees and you to the Diamondbacks. And if you're like me, when a life-altering choice is pending you search the internet for advice. I'm glad you came to me first. I wouldn't steer you wrong.

So here's my advice, Shawn: scotch the deal. What's the point of a no-trade clause if you're not going to use it? Are you willing to swap the glory and tradition of Dodger blue for whatever color it is they wear in Arizona? I think it's a sort of purply-green combo--supposed to look like the desert or something.

Secondly, if you leave the Dodgers, it might kill Sandy Koufax. It might not, but are you willing to take that chance?

And last, but most certainly not least, can't you just see the look on Steinbrenner's face? So think over what I've told you, Shawn. Sleep on it, have a nosh, take a drive out to the ocean. I know you'll make the right choice.

Your good buddy,

eli