Spicing Up C-SPAN

Bring out the gimp

If there's one thing people in Washington are tired of, it's those stodgy confirmation hearings. Aren't they just an opportunity for partisan soapboxing? Isn't there a more efficient way to extract information from George W. Bush's cabinet nominees? Fortunately for the future of political life in America, I have a novel solution for adding some spice to the up-coming rounds of Hill questioning. Instead of having Attorney General-nominee Alberto Gonzales placed in front of the cameras for a grilling by Carl Levin (D-MI) and Joseph Biden (D-DE), why not just interrogate him with his own administration approved methods? These, of course, are narrowly defined as everything excepting an "intensity to the pain accompanying serious physical injury, such as organ failure, impairment of bodily function, or even death." What is your preferred color and pile-depth for the carpeting in the Justice Department, Mr. Gonzalez? Bring on the waterboards.