This Is The Year

...and an Indian and a Swede will lead them to the promised land.

I don't know if you've heard yet, but your Seattle Mariners are going to win the World Series this year. Not that you'll find this little tidbit on ESPN or Sports Illustrated or any of the other hack publications that worship the New York Yankees. How can I be so sure, with the regular season still a week away? It's obvious with even a cursory study of Mariner's history from the modern era (Lou Piniella - Ichiro).

Firstly, the Mariners tend to do well in odd-numbered years (1995, 1997, 2001, 2003). 2005 just happens to be an odd-numbered year. Reason the second: the Mariners cannot be perceived as winners, or they will blow it (see: 1997-2003). Nearly losing 100 games last season puts them in perfect position to be comeback kids. C) The Mariners always go to the play-offs when they have a losing record in Spring Training. Although with last night's win over the Cubs their record has closed to an alarming 12-13, they did start Spring Training 1-10. Reason the fourth: They finally have an everday third basemen and an everyday left-fielder for the first time in 15 years. With these kind of advantages, it's no wonder management isn't concerned about not having a number one starter.

The current odds in Vegas are 72/12 that the Mariners will win the World Series. That makes it far too complicated for me to figure out my winnings once I sell all my possessions and place a massive bet on the M's. Now some might call me delusional, driven mad by years of failure, but they're just out to bring me down because they know deep in their jealous little hearts that I'm right.