The Ideal of Beauty

While I've often heard women complaining about society's unrealistic expectations for their physical appearance, has it ever occurred to them that we white men might sometimes feel inadequate, too? Isn't it time that somebody stood up for us and the fanciful body types to which we are expected to conform? I speak, of course, of facial hair; whiskers, if you will. If you watch the shows that I do, you probably have noticed that during every commercial break one is bombarded with half a dozen advertisements for shaving products and sundry paraphenalia. These appeal directly to the swarthier among us, but do we see ourselves reflected in the televised mirror? I find it a dubious proposition that any of the actors in these commercials would have much use for a razor. To a man they are all hairless mutants from the Planet Swede. Oh, the pain, the pain. Despair.

On a related note, what the hell is Mitchum anti-perspirant? Might it be designed especially for those who want to smell like pot-smoking, film noir star Robert Mitchum (who was so laid back he makes Peter Fonda look like an ADD kid high on Pixie Stix).