Happy Thanksgiving Cont'd

Endangered?

Forget the rapidly diminishing oil supply and the rising prices of heating this winter, a true national crisis is upon us: there is a looming cranberry shortage. Sure, we're in good shape for Thanksgiving, but the outlook darkens considerably over the six weeks between Turkey Day and Christmas, when 25% of our nation's cranberries are consumed. And as Jared Diamond has shown us, when a population starts running low on a resource they inevitably begin exploiting it in a more ruthless fashion.

We must defend our valuable bogs from overuse, lest cranberries become hunted to extinction (like the poor, benighted mincemeat tree). Sure, we can't fuel our automobiles and aircraft with cranberries (yet), but if the cranberry supply is exhausted we will have no foodstuff whose sauce so perfectly retains the shape of its container (unless you count catfood, and I'm not that short on money (yet)). So conserve your cranberries people, winter's comin'.