My Resignation Letter

The following is the reprinted text from my resignation letter from the FTC. Names have been redacted to protect the innocent:

March 10, 2004

Dear Ms. ----------

It is with heavy heart that I must regretfully announce my impending resignation from the Honors Paralegal program of the Bureau of Competition. Though my time here has been rife with excitement and photocopying, I must depart in order to pursue other opportunities in this grand jest we call "Life." A hundred thanks for your trust in initially hiring me, though I wore running shoes to the interview. The 29th of April will be my final day here at the commission.

Thus I leave you with these sage words:

Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets, his hour on the stage
And then is heard no more.

Sincerely,


-eli