Baseball Woes

It's been a discouraging few days (months?) for your Seattle Mariners. Though to see the team nationally televised twice in a week is something of a 10-year anomaly, ESPN only scheduled it this way in the hopes that large audiences would tune in to see the Yankees drub the M's (I hope they haven't been disappointed). How humiliating to know that your hometown squad are sacrificial lambs for a $208 million juggernaut. Keep in mind that this is all despite the fact that these two underachievers had strikingly similar woeful records coming into the series. You wouldn't know that by listening to the obsequious banter of Dave O'Brien and Rick Sutcliffe. So, in order to get some sarcastic aggression out before the final game is televised at one (Eastern), Expecting Rain presents "ESPN's Yankee Broadcast Mad-Libs."

1. Derek Jeter is the greatest _______ of the last decade.
2. Jeter only made that error because ______ jinxed him.
3. Despite the fact that he never managed a winner prior to '96, Joe Torre _____ the greatest baseball mind in history.
4. Gosh, _____ Derek Jeter just super?